Have you ever had a vague “knowing” floating around in your mind, on the verge of self discovery, but couldn’t quite put it to cognitive understanding or into words? I’ve been wrestling with that feeling for several weeks now, and the quest is slowly forming into recognition of something new for me.
It started when I began a healthy eating plan. This plan is different than anything I’ve done in the past. I eat all I want, but cut way down on starches, sweets, and almost no fast foods. I can eat all the vegetables and fruits I want. I’m not losing a lot of weight fast, but something else if happening. I feel happy with myself for eating right and doing what I should. Being responsible with my body. My contented attitude is a far cry of the past when I would be feeling deprived and neglected.
It seems to be a spiritual thing. Now that is surprising. How can it be spiritual? Yet, I have the sense that I am secure and in a good place. I am more the person God meant for me to be.
I heard an analogy today that helps describe that sense of being. Psalm 91 says, “He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.
I can just see those little chicks peek out through the feathers and then dash back to safety. I think I have been outside those feathers in one area of my life, probably more than one area.
It started when I was a child. Our food was very limited and consisted mostly of vegetables from the garden and fruit in season. When the cow would calf, we would have milk for awhile. Occasionally, we would have meat from dressing out a pig or calf. I just remember wanting something special like a hamburger or homemade ice cream, but those treats didn’t come too often. As an adult, I remember thinking I would eat whatever I wanted, even if it was two hamburgers at a time. Food became a way of loving myself, a commodity that was in short supply from my family growing up as well.
I watch the TV program, “My 600-pound life” occasionally, and the obese people on that show are doing the same thing. Eating constantly to make themselves feel better. A slogan I was given recently says, “Food is fuel, not therapy.”
On an earlier blog I said I was experiencing a feeling of freedom. Now I can add to that: freedom from guilt. When I, as a child of God, try to live outside the sheltering wings of my Father, I am trying to do things my own way, not trusting Him to make me alright. Taking that analogy further, being under my Fathers wings means that I am tucked up under His heart. Surely, those chicks can hear His heart beat, soak up His character and love, and hear His voice so close by.
Hmmm, maybe I need to listen carefully in the future. I always delight in hearing God.
Being under His shelter must be the most natural form of living for we were created to be there. But we try to do our own thing, plan our own future. We have been so instructed by the world that it seems natural and right to do so. We seek our own identity according to what is most beneficial in our own eyes.
Being under His wing doesn’t mean we can’t go about our daily business. We have the freedom to venture out, yet remain secure within His presence.
The more mature I become, the more I realize I am most happy pursuing His design and purpose for me in this world. That is where I best fit and have the most freedom. But I am such a student, learning more and more about myself and God, and I like what I’m finding out.