One Of Those Days

There are those days when a person just shouldn’t have gotten out of bed.  Today was one of those days for me.  It started out with me starting late on a two hour trip to a hospital clinic where I had an appointment.  I saw a roadside sign that said,”Prepare to slow down ahead.”  I got busy doing that.  I could see some construction ahead, but my vision was blocked somewhat by a black suburban driving slow in front of me.  I didn’t realize how slow the driver was driving until I had to quickly apply my brakes.  He pulled over into a side lane and I passed him.  As I did, I saw a man standing with a stop sign in  his hand and he was waving it at me.  I really put on the brakes this time, and looking back, I saw the telltale red and blue blinking lights come on.  Oh, heck, it was a police car.  I pulled over immediately.

“Ma’am, are you okay?”  I nodded my head, and re-framed from saying, “No, you scared the ___out of me!”  He kept telling me I was going to rear-end him if he hadn’t pulled over.  That wasn’t true, or he would have had white paint on the back of his black car.  It would have served him right for driving five miles an hour in a construction zone with little prior warning of hazards ahead.  The lane was open; he was the one posing a danger. (He was blocking the sight of the flagman as well).  Well, as my husband would say, “Discretion is the better part of valor” so I kept my mouth closed and kept smiling.  Eventually, he said he was just warning me to slow down, and sent me on my way without a ticket.

An hour later down the highway, I realized I needed to take a Lasix break.  Ladies, those of you who take diuretic (water) pills know what I mean.  Get somewhere fast.  A town came up ahead, and I pulled into a service station the same time as another woman about my age with a look in her eyes of a mission being pursued. Oh no, another Lasix break.  We both rushed the bathroom.  Whew… there were two stalls.  Oh, thank you God for Your previsions.  One of us didn’t have to use the drain.  When I got up, I steadied myself on the toilet dispenser and it came apart.  I bent over the machine, trying to repair it. I got a phone call.  It was from someone trying to sell me a trip for 75% off.  It must have been a recording for when I tried to tell her I wasn’t interested, she just kept talking.  Thankfully, I didn’t drop my phone in the toilet, but I did hang up on her.

On my way home, I started getting sleepy.  I envisioned how ice cream cones would keep me awake.  Instead, I called my sister, the one who always harps on my eating habits.  I knew I would be too guilty eating one while I was talking to her.  Sure enough, I passed on the ice cream.

I went past the construction zone where I had gotten the warning, and looked for the deputy sheriff.  He was out somewhere else, but in remembrance of him, I slowed down.