Child Visitation Should Be Easy

Why can’t things be simple?  Like child visitation?  It’s been a month since we saw our grandchild.  Each visitation period our grandchild’s mother says he is sick or some other reason he can’t come.  In frustration, my son asked her why the child wasn’t in the hospital if he has had pneumonia for over three weeks now.  I couldn’t hear her explanation, but I could see him buckle under her arguments. I reminded him that last time he said he would let it slide, and that he was letting her talk him down again.

At what point does a person say enough already, and take action?  My son asked to speak to the diagnosing doctor and see the medical records.  A good maneuver, but it was obviously shot down.

My approach would be to show up at the appointed time on the divorce decree, and if he wasn’t sent out the door, to call the police and show them the divorce papers.  Everyone seems to think my actions would be too drastic.  My opinion: stand up to a bully and they will back off.  Of course, if push comes to shove, what else is there to do?  Start a war?  Maybe it is good for them not to listen to me.

My concern is that if we are so passive we allow the child to drift away from our side of the family, he will surely think we don’t care for him, and be at the mercy of her family alone.  What if he needs a weekend to get away and have some relief?  We all need that—a place to retreat or escape for a bit.  It would be so easy to just not have conflict and to give up.  But the child is worth our efforts and our perseverance.

As grandparents, my husband and I have no right now to enforce anything.  We might have to go to court to have a legal footing to do what is right by the child.  We dearly love him, and have been in his life for five years now.  It is sad we would have to go to that expense.  If everyone could just trust each other and try to work things out in a compassionate way, it would be so much easier.