We’ve been studying the life of Gideon at church for the past few Sundays. I find I have a lot in common with Gideon. He was the least family member of the weakest clan in Manasseh–no great claim to fame or power. But God saw him according to his call, the great warrior he had been created to be. Gideon asked Him for several signs and encouragement, thinking he might be mistaken about what he was hearing from the angel of God. After all, he didn’t look the part of a great warrior hiding out in a winepress, threshing his wheat so the enemy couldn’t see him and steal it.
I don’t come from an influential family who’s name commands great respect and opens doors of opportunity. We’re just normal folks, trying to live lives of good character. Inwardly, I believe God has called me to do great things for His kingdom, but I seem to be the only one who knows this. But no matter, I’ve never needed recognition to have a sense of self worth.
But, like Gideon, I seem to need reassurances that He is calling me to do a work outside of my comfort zone. “Maybe I’m just kidding myself,” I wonder, “is it really Him telling me these things?”
As I go forward, I find myself growing a little numb and off-base with my feelings. I lose a little bit of the direct connection with God. When I analyze my feelings, I am amazed at myself, “Just why would I think God is failing me because I start to lose confidence? He’s still there, or even more so; He hasn’t moved away… I have.” I’ve put a wall up around my own vulnerability.
I come back to my senses when I realize I’m not in charge and don’t need talents and provisions in order to win. Gideon didn’t have a great army or weapons. All he had was a few men with trumpets, water jugs, lighted torches, and overhearing a conversation within an enemy’s tent. God did the rest, and Gideon’s small band of men won the battle. Of course, most of the enemy men killed each other in confusion. It was night and Gideon’s men surrounded them. They broke the jugs , revealing the torched, and blew the trumpets. The enemy thought a great army was upon them. (Judges Ch. 6)
When I put my challenges in this perspective, the stress and tension fall away from me. All I need to do is follow His directions, and trust Him. It is His victory, and His glory.