It’s not even New Years, but I’ve recently looked over my life and decided I needed to get real about some things. I’ve been on a steady decline in my personal life. The things I knew I needed to do I would put off until tomorrow. The tomorrows stretched into weeks, and then threatened to last months until I formed unhealthy habits. After open-heart surgery over a year ago I knew the importance of eating vegetables and lean meats. Some stress in my life tempted me into junk food, or otherwise known as comfort food. All those carbs sure settled the nerves down, and gave that rush of pleasure (after the conscious was ignored).
The television greeted me anytime I wanted to hang out with it, giving me exciting detective stories, honing my building skills with the home shows, and Dr. Phil was there most days helping me learn how to deal with bratty kids, snoopy mother-in-laws, and exposing unfaithful husbands. While I was having fun with the television, my flower beds were being invaded with weeds, and the leaves tried their best to mulch my yard.
And my prayer life was still good, but God and I weren’t having those long walks and talks any more, unless I was having a trauma/drama at the moment. Funny how that drives me to Him.
I feel like an addict or alcoholic, knowing I must drive past a liquor store on the way home. Do I have the strength to do it? What temptation is lurking behind the bushes (in the form of my son asking me if I would like to go eat with him). I started out the day by reading a chapter in Matthew, called the Sermon on the Mount. I figured that passage would cover all sins know to mankind. Surely it would cover my temptations for the day. “Blessed be…” I didn’t feel too blessed, but knew I was. The feelings would just have to move over: my will and the power of God was present. I knew the will was a fickle little thing, but I trusted in the power of God.
Another thing I knew. God has brought me through sickness and a lot of redemption. He has good things ahead for me. I must be ready. I have written about the virgins who had their oil supply for when the bridegroom came. (Matthew 25:1-13) They were ready, and the ones who were not prepared didn’t get to enter in.
And even if something spectacular (I’m still hoping) doesn’t happen, I will be in better shape, the yard will look great, and God just might say, “I’ve been looking for you to show up. I’ve been missing you.”